collection of 20 great marriage jokes for you
Here’s a collection of 20 great marriage jokes for you:
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### **1. Marriage is like a deck of cards.**
At the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
### **2. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.**
I had to put my foot down.
### **3. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.**
### **4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.**
She said, “Somewhere I haven’t been in a while.”
I said, “How about the kitchen?”
### **5. A man and his wife were having an argument.**
Wife: You just don’t get it, do you?
Husband: No, I don’t. That’s why we’re having this argument.
### **6. Why do married people live longer?**
Because they can’t argue if they’re dead.
### **7. My wife told me I need to start doing lunges to stay in shape.**
That would be a big step forward.
### **8. Marriage is when a man and woman become one.**
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
### **9. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.**
I don’t like to interrupt her.
### **10. My wife and I were happy for 20 years.**
Then we met.
### **11. Why do married men gain weight?**
When single, they come home, check the fridge, and go to bed. When married, they come home, check the bed, and go to the fridge.
### **12. Wife: “What are you doing?”**
Husband: “Nothing.”
Wife: “Nothing? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.”
Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”
### **13. Marriage is like a workshop.**
The husband works, and the wife shops.
### **14. I think my wife’s cooking has really improved.**
That was the best slice of soup I’ve ever had.
### **15. Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that’s too warm, beside someone who’s sleeping in a room that’s too cold.**
### **16. My wife asked me to take her to the most expensive place I could think of.**
So I took her to the gas station.
### **17. I asked my wife to let me know the next time she has an orgasm.**
She said she didn’t want to bother me at work.
### **18. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said.**
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
### **19. Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.**
### **20. Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.**
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Hope these jokes made you laugh!
